Theatre - Time to help ourselves?

We have found ourselves in a situation which no one could have imagined. I’m not talking about a global pandemic. Evidently governments have done dry runs of such a possibility and failed miserably. I’m talking about a world in which a 99 year old man has to walk around his garden on a walking frame in order to fund the NHS. I’m talking about a world where a footballer has to point out to the Prime Minister that children will starve during the summer holidays if meal vouchers are taken away.

Both Major Tom and Marcus Rashford did amazing work and are to be applauded and thanked. We in the theatre world however seem to be still looking for someone to lead us in our action against the pandemic.  Or should that be against the government?

Loosening the lockdown on Tuesday, the government’s very own Tintin, Boris the Bumbler, said “I’d like to go to the theatre again.” The scientists stood by looking like a shifty version of the Thompson Twins. Reluctant to wholeheartedly back Tintin’s exuberance, they urged caution. No sign of large gatherings there then. But who knows> This is a government that has done more U turns than a teenage joyrider on a skid pan.

Oliver Dowden, the Minister for culture, who has the sad look of a runner-up in a 1970s talent show, tells us he is developing a roadmap. Surely by now he should have a fully functioning satnav. He’s talking to scientists. Perhaps he’s talking to the Thompson twins too. Why is he not talking to  us? 

Theatres, cinemas, and other hospitality venues have still been given no plan for reopening as functioning venues. Yes, they can open, but rather like swimming pools without water, they cannot fulfil their functions. The National and Curve have already said, this is not financially viable. To open a 1100 seater theatre to run a cafe in the foyer doesn’t balance the books if the performance element has been withheld. Witheld because of the danger of people singing, spraying when projecting, or playing wind instruments. Hopefully this limitation should reduce the number of Tory ministers blowing their own trumpets.

Cameron Mackintosh put theatre “in the room where it happens”  last week by announcing his shows would all close until early 2021 and there would be lots of redundancies in order for his business to survive. People may not have liked it, but it was a positive action that showed just what is needed for the theatre business to keep alive. The Theatre Royal Plymouth joined the redundancy drive yesterday - still no government announcement.

This government has had ample chance to speak out on culture, but quite frankly it just doesn’t appeal to their new voter base; the people who lent them a blue tick during the recent election. These are not proper Tories. These are all fly by night we’ll be out of here with our pockets lined by the next election Tories, and they don’t care.

Equity wrote to Rishi Sunak to ask for the self-employment measures to be extended to help freelancers who were falling through the cracks. For all the good it did, they may as well have not wasted the stamp.

Sonia Friedman  wrote elegantly in last month’s Telegraph saying “it is time to act.” But do what? That is what Sir Cameron has done. He has laid it on the line.

We, as an industry, have to face the fact that we are not going to get any help from this government. No information on how social distancing can be safely practised in theatres has been forthcoming and if we are realistic, we know that social distancing is not going to be removed for a long time, so someone needs to come up with an action plan as to what theatre can actually do in the meantime. 

No one can explain how a plane can look like this.  

 

While a theatre has to look like this.

Evidently discussions are under way, but as they take longer and longer and no action plan is made evident, theatres are falling. No sign of action and people are losing faith in the government once again. And if they can’t give us that plan, and they continue to withhold funds, then many more theatre will close down. Everybody has been pumping free content out online, which may be great for the soul, but it’s not good for business. The Old Vic stages a play behind closed doors and gets criticised for asking per ticket price of £65.

 So why not focus on getting out of the room where it happens. Let’s make it happen where we want. Let’s take it out of the buildings. Theatre is people after all, not bricks and mortar. And let’s come to terms with the fact that funding for it, or any help at all for that matter, may not come quick enough to save some buildings, but that it’s going to take more than an indolent government to kill theatre.