The Right To Fail.

One of the illicit guilty pleasures of early winter night television is the glut of reality shows that seem to fill our screens. I know it is not everybody's cup of tea but I'm afraid that Rich and I do set the recorder for“Strictly come dancing" and “ X factor". There is a real pleasure when one of the contestants and their celebrity dancing partner, or budding recording artist, actually does well. What does annoy me greatly is that when they don't do so well, and people refuse to tell them. There were quite a few performances on last night's edition of the X factor that needed firm criticism. Quite simply the singers failed to deliver, and they needed to be told so. So they can start to deal with what will be a recurring feeling in their career, no matter how successful they become.

Failure is one of the most important and yet difficult things to deal with as a performer.Believe me it never gets any easier. No matter what you've done before, you're only as good as your last job or audition, and when the news comes through from your agent that “sadly it's no this time" .............it still hurts.

I speak from the heart. A week ago on Friday I went on a trip up to Manchester for another interview for a soap opera. It’s set on a cobbled street–no imagination needed there then–and this was the third time I’ve had an encounter with their casting department. I played a very small role in it in 2003. Four years later in late 2007 I went through a whole casting process ending up in a screen test with four different boys to play my son for a new regular character, only to be bumped out at the last minute by somebody who’s profile they said was higher than mine, and on the most recent occasion I went up to play a new character who’s going to appear for six months starting mid-November. That would be my perfect job. Not having to be based in Manchester, but popping up and down for the next six months to film a significant role in what after all is still one of TV’s most watched programmes.

I never know how I have done in auditions. When I get home Rich will always ask me how I think I got on, but I’m usually incapable of quantifying it. Sometimes I’ll know the role is not for me, although on those occasions I have often been surprised by receiving an offer. Sometimes I might think I’ve done pretty well, but would never have the courage to say so. No matter how you put it out of your mind it’s impossible not to think of the “what if” game. What if I got it. What if they said yes. And then when the call comes saying “they really liked you but…….” the stark reality of failure is with you once again.

We all have the right to fail. People say that we learn most from our mistakes, and the phrase “you have the right to fail” is one that I constantly use when I’m working with young actors who are hesitant about trying out things that maybe outside their comfort zone.

I doubt if I can even remember all the no’s I have had in my 32 year career, some more painful than others, and I know that come tomorrow morning I’ll pick myself up, dust myself down and, to continue the song lyric, start all over again with an interview for BBC 4 play that I’m currently being considered for.

And yet one does analyse why one failed. It’s a bit like grieving. If you push it to one side and pretend it doesn’t matter, it wells up at unexpected moments, so the best thing to do is to have a little sulk, relish in the fact that it’s their fault that they didn’t cast you, and move on. Usually helped by a little retail therapy. Not getting jobs has sometimes cost me pounds, and I don’t mean in lost fees.

But as Scarlet said so knowingly, “Tomorrow is another day” After all with an interview for BBC 4 on the horizon, if I’m successful I’ll be able to retire on the fee!