Talking to oneself

There have been many times in my life when whole days have passed without a conversation with another human being. Days reduced to a quick thank you or enquiry in a shop or a passing hello in the foyer of a block of flats. These days, with messaging apps and email, we don’t need to have conversations. One thing I noticed during my first few months alone on my boat was that I had no chats. Just What’s App exchanges. Today, the sun is trying to poke through rain clouds, which are producing an almost biblical downpour here in East London. And it would be the perfect morning where in the past I would have picked up the telephone and had chats with friends. Now that’s reduced to a few quick text messages to plan or to check that people are OK. The good thing is that my partner works from home three days a week and although his conversations often are into headphones with people in other parts of the world, the sound of another voice on the boat is both comforting. Today he’s in the office and so the boat is quiet. I always turn on the radio. I remember the first time after having passed my driving test and getting into the car on my own. The silence was deafening, and I turned on the radio. A habit I always continue to follow every time I sit in a car about to drive off. Music needs to fill the space. With an increasing amount of conversation reliant on keyboards and screens, it’s the people who can make words benefit them who are king. A creative education, a drama training or a high energy level are all useful factors in the art of conversation. I’m not a fan of ‘first person shoot ups’ as I believe they are called but my partner can settle down on a beanbag in front of the TV with his headset in place, chatting to mates , playing the game and the ensuing conversation is a joy to behold. His energy and joy communicated in words, gone albeit down the line on a headset, but spoken. It would seem to be the modern equivalent of the late morning coffee phone call. Or that tradition where a quiet evening in meant a bottle of wine, a glass and the telephone all taken into the bathroom. A long hot soak, a glass of Chardonnay balanced on the soap dish, and the telephone on the floor by the bath with the receiver stretching up. Long steamy catch up conversations with friends. I've always made a promise to a partner to never go to bed angry. That we would always talk about it. Sometimes silence between good friends is a wonderful thing. A companionable quiet. Yet the ability to talk, to entertain, to chat, to educate, to inform, to comfort, to reassure and to profess love is the very best. A heart emoji is a nice thing to receive. The words “I love you” are the ones that fill my heart with joy.